Fool
by Brilliant5
Summary: Oneshot. Pippin reflects on Gandalf's last words in Lothlorien. R&R.


Wow. I don't even know where this came from. I'm not even real big on the hobbits Especially Pippin. I like him. But I don't really have an interest in writing about him. But this kind of popped into my head one day and wouldn't leave me alone until I started writing. This seriously took a lot of time. I wrote it down on paper – which I never do – made an outline, jotted down ideas and stuff. Totally not something I usually do.

Well, I hope I didn't get too carried away with anything. I think I did. But I'm not for sure. It seems short. But all of my stories seem short and rushed to me.

Ahhhh. I'm rambling. On with the story!

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What is a fool exactly? Is it someone who lacks common knowledge? Or is it someone who can do nothing right and messes things up constantly? I think it's both. But mostly I'd go with the second one. I'm probably the best example when it comes to foolish things. I don't even know why I'm here. Or why I was even born. I can hardly think of a time where I actually accomplished something on purpose. Usually I accidentally say the right thing. It's never intentional. It seems like I bring bad luck with me wherever I go. Bad things always happen when I'm around. Why I even joined the Fellowship is a mystery to me. I suppose I did it because Merry, Sam and Frodo were going. I kind of follow them, do what they do. Because, usually, they do things that I would never do. Like paying attention. Or doing what I was told. I'm cooperative most of the time. But my curiosity gets the best of me usually. Curiosity. Another interesting word. It makes me think of the last thing anyone's really said to me.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

That was the last thing Gandalf said to me. Sure, he said other things after that. But it was the last thing he said directly to me. Not everyone in general. Just me. It makes me feel like that I'm responsible for Gandalf's death. Which, I probably am. If I hadn't let my curiosity take over, if I hadn't touched that corpse, we would have passed through The Mines of Moria undetected. The goblins wouldn't have heard us. There would still be nine companions on their way to Mount Doom if I hadn't been so foolish. And Aragorn wouldn't be the leader. Not that he's a bad leader. He's actually really good. He keeps us on our feet and keeps us on the move. The rest of the Fellowship seems disconnected ever since Gandalf fell. None of us spoke much. Especially Frodo. And that made me feel even worse. Frodo carried the most important thing in all of Middle Earth. It was a heavy burden to begin with, but to add onto that weight with the death of a loved one? I'll never forgive myself. I really won't. Everyone else seems to be in fairly better condition. Except Merry hasn't spoken to me. I wonder if he knows that it's my fault. He probably does, he was always good at figuring things out. Sam is beside Frodo constantly. Never speaking to him, but mostly just watching over him. Making sure he eats and stuff. Legolas doesn't seem affected at all. But I have a feeling that he's hiding his grief. I remember Aragorn saying something about the stubbornness of elves. So I guess this is a good example. Gimli is the same way. He doesn't look upset. But I'm pretty confident that he's hiding it so he doesn't appear weak in front of everyone else. Boromir looks slightly worse than I thought he'd be. I think something's bothering him, and I wish I could talk to him. But I'm afraid of saying something foolish and making things worse. Gandalf's death is affecting everyone in different ways. So it really is my fault that Gandalf's dead.

Is there anyone as foolish as me? Is there anyone out there who feels the way I am right now? In my mind, something is telling me that there is. But the queasy feeling in my stomach says that I'm alone. I _killed _Gandalf the Grey with my own stupidity. I can't get that out of my head. It's like there's a voice inside my head, screaming at me and telling me that it's all my fault and nobody cares about me. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

There's another voice in my head. This voice keeps asking questions I don't know the answers to. But there's one question that really stands out from the others.

_What will become of the Fellowship with Gandalf gone?_

I really don't know the answer. But I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen. And I'm afraid that I'll be the cause of it. I feel totally helpless and I pull my knees up close to my chest. What exactly have I done for the Fellowship anyways? I can't recall helping out in any way. I've only asked a million questions and poked my nose into other people's business.

I really am a fool.

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Like it? Hate it? Need work?

Please review. Constructive criticism is appreciated. I like to know what I can do better on for future stories.


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